Mastering the First Date

Imagine yourself getting ready for your first date in a long time. The adrenaline of excitement and nerves all intertwined. You thoughtfully choose the right outfit that makes you feel confident and classy. You put on music that gets you feeling that positive energy and pumped up for a great first impression.

You show up at the venue, a classy restaurant that you chose, and you take a deep breath and say to yourself, “I got this!” You text your date that you have arrived and head into the restaurant. When you approach the table, he is sitting there with a drink and doesn’t get up to greet you but says, “You must be Julia.” You politely say, “Yes,” and sit down.

Gentlemen, that was the first missed opportunity to impress the lady! Always stand up, greet your date with a smile, and introduce yourself.

The Importance of First Impressions

First impressions are crucial. The moment you meet your date sets the tone for the rest of the evening. Standing up to greet your date is not just a polite gesture; it shows respect and interest. A warm smile and a proper introduction can instantly make your date feel more comfortable and appreciated.

The Phone Faux Pas

Another major turn-off is when people don’t put their phones away while on a date. Scrolling through your phone or looking at your smartwatch for notifications is a clear sign that you are not fully present. It makes your date feel unimportant and disrespected. 

To avoid this, put your phone on silent and keep it out of sight. Show that you are genuinely interested in the person sitting across from you. Your attention should be entirely on them, not on your phone.

Avoiding TMI (Too Much Information)

Oversharing too much information about exes, past relationships, or medical issues can be a major downer and sabotage the chance of a second date. It’s important to keep the conversation light and positive on the first date. Focus on getting to know each other rather than delving into heavy or personal topics.

Choosing the Right Venue

A long, expensive dinner might not be the best choice for a first date. Opt for a coffee date or lunch somewhere intimate, quiet, and conducive to good conversation. Afterward, you can go for a stroll. Walking and talking is often more comfortable than staring at each other for an hour across a table. It also leaves you both wanting to know more about each other.

Balanced Conversation

Talking about yourself only can make you come across as a conversation bully. It’s important to show interest in what the other person has to say. Bring your curiosity to every date and ask questions. However, firing off question after question can feel like a job interview or an interrogation. Find a balance by sharing information about yourself too. This shows you are engaging in a two-way conversation.

Keeping the Conversation Alive

Don’t let a great topic fall flat. If your date shares that they love to travel, don’t let that pass by without asking follow-up questions. For instance, ask, “Tell me, where have you been?” or “Where are places you’re hoping to go?” This not only shows that you are interested but also keeps the conversation flowing naturally.

Showing Effort in Appearance

Showing up for a date right from work or the gym can be acceptable depending on the circumstances. If you come straight from work, make sure you are presentable and don’t need a shower before your date. If you’re meeting after the gym, plan on showering and bringing a change of clothes that fit the venue. Many clients have felt that their date showed no effort in their appearance, wearing wrinkled t-shirts, sweatpants, or shorts and flip-flops with un-pedicured toes.

The Power of Thoughtfulness

All of these scenarios are common complaints from singles. I want to help you present the best, most genuine version of yourself confidently, showing people you are an impressive, thoughtful dater.

Tips for a Successful First Date

1. Stand Up and Greet Your Date: Always stand up to greet your date. A warm smile and a proper introduction can make a great first impression.
2. Put Away Your Phone: Show that you are fully present and interested in your date by keeping your phone out of sight.
3. Avoid Oversharing: Keep the conversation light and positive. Avoid delving into heavy or personal topics on the first date.
4. Choose the Right Venue: Shoot for a coffee date or lunch in a quiet, intimate setting. Walking and talking can also be a great way to get to know each other.
5. Balanced Conversation: Engage in a two-way conversation by asking questions and sharing information about yourself.
6. Follow-Up Questions: Keep the conversation alive by asking follow-up questions on interesting topics.
7. Dress Appropriately: Show effort in your appearance by dressing appropriately for the venue and occasion.
8. Be Thoughtful: Present the best version of yourself by being thoughtful and considerate throughout the date.

Final Thoughts

Dating can be nerve-wracking, especially if it’s been a while since your last first date. However, by paying attention to these tips, you can make a lasting impression and increase the chances of a second date. Remember, the key to a successful date is to be genuine, thoughtful, and fully present. Good luck!