Is Self-Care Selfish?

Many of my coaching clients have shared that they are uncomfortable with the concept of self-care. Some express feeling guilty about prioritizing their own needs, almost viewing it as a selfish act. How foreign it feels! But where does this sentiment originate?

Many of my clients have shared that they believe it stems from their accustomed role as caretakers for family members, whether children, spouses, or aging parents. They are used to prioritizing the needs of others and placing themselves at the bottom of the list of responsibilities. This self-sacrificing mindset is often reinforced by societal expectations, cultural norms, and even familial teachings that glorify putting others first.

What is Self-Care?

According to VeryWell Health, self-care encompasses practices aimed at enhancing one’s physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being to foster overall health and wellness. Contrary to the perception that self-care is merely a form of indulgence, it is, in fact, a critical component of maintaining one’s health and well-being.

The World Health Organization (WHO) defines self-care as activities undertaken with the intention of promoting health, preventing disease, maintaining health, and managing illness and disability with minimal support from healthcare providers. WHO further clarifies that self-care encompasses a wide range of aspects in a person’s life, including:

• Hygiene (both general and personal)
• Nutrition
• Lifestyle choices, such as levels of physical activity and engagement in leisure pursuits
• Environmental factors, including living conditions and social interactions
• Socioeconomic elements, like income level and cultural practices
• Self-medication and adherence to treatment plans for existing health conditions

The primary objective of self-care is to avert or manage illnesses and sustain overall wellness by consistently attending to various health aspects. Engaging in genuine self-care requires individuals to exercise personal accountability and self-reliance in ways that positively impact their health both now and in the future.

Why is Self-Care Important?

Self-care is the practice of taking care of the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of your life to promote health and wellness. While many people may view self-care as a form of selfish indulgence, the act of caring for oneself is an important part of a person’s overall well-being. Many people do not fully understand what self-care means. Read on to find out more about what self-care is, examples of practicing self-care, and why it’s important for your mental and physical health.

What People Think Self-Care Is

There’s a common misconception that self-care equates to overindulgence. This can include:

• Overindulgence in spending
• Binge-eating favorite but unhealthy foods
• Participating in activities that provide instant gratification
• Going on expensive and lavish vacations
• Perfecting oneself by any means necessary
• Numbing bad feelings using alcohol or illicit substances
• Binge-watching television

These activities might provide temporary relief or pleasure, but they often don’t contribute to long-term well-being and can sometimes even harm it.

What Self-Care Actually Is

True self-care is about adopting habits that can be maintained long-term and contribute to overall well-being. It includes:

• Prioritizing one’s physical and mental health
• Adopting healthy lifestyle habits that can be maintained long-term
• Eating a healthy diet
• Finding exercise activities that you enjoy and participating in them regularly
• Getting an adequate amount of good-quality sleep
• Following treatment plans for existing conditions accordingly
• Taking time out for yourself to participate in healthy activities you enjoy

Take Care of Yourself

In essence, self-care involves tending to the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual facets of your life to enhance health and well-being. It’s a lifestyle that allows you to allocate time for your health, ensuring your overall well-being both presently and in the future. This, in my view, is anything but selfish behavior.

By embracing effective self-care techniques, you can enjoy various benefits, including improved physical and mental health, enhanced disease prevention or management, and stronger personal and professional relationships. It helps you to be more resilient, more present, and more capable of handling life’s challenges.

Moreover, when you take care of yourself, you are better equipped to care for others. It’s like the analogy of putting on your oxygen mask first before assisting others on an airplane. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and taking time to refill your cup is necessary for you to be at your best for yourself and those around you.

Overcoming the Guilt

For many, the guilt associated with self-care stems from deeply ingrained beliefs that prioritize others’ needs over their own. To overcome this guilt, it’s essential to reframe self-care not as an act of selfishness but as a necessary practice for maintaining overall well-being. Start small, integrating manageable self-care practices into your daily routine, and gradually build up as you become more comfortable with the idea.

Communicating with loved ones about the importance of self-care can also help. When others understand that self-care is crucial for your health and happiness, they are more likely to support and encourage your efforts.

Final Thoughts

Self-care is not selfish; it is self-preservation. It is an essential practice for leading a healthy, balanced, and fulfilling life. By taking care of ourselves, we are not only improving our own lives but also enhancing our capacity to care for others. Embrace self-care as a fundamental aspect of your life, and watch as it transforms your well-being, relationships, and overall quality of life.