Craft Your Dating “Shopping List”

Have you ever gone into a grocery store hungry, without a shopping list to guide you? Have you then found yourself picking up something quick and convenient but not nutritionally complete? Or maybe you’ve gravitated towards something with bright, shiny packaging that you crave but that leaves you feeling queasy afterward? I have experienced this too, and the same applies to dating.

I cannot stress enough the importance of working with a professional to develop a “shopping list” of important values and qualities so you will know exactly what a nutritious relationship recipe looks like for you. This gives you the best shot at avoiding the convenience or junk food that will only leave you hungrier or feeling sick later.

A good dating shopping list will help you determine the most important aspects of yourself. Developing it will be a deep dive into your self-awareness. You will discover your driving forces in life and your core values. Shared core values create the best environment for a happy, healthy, long-lasting relationship.

Your list should also include your key life values, which are more of the “wants” in a relationship. It is highly unlikely that you will get all your wants met, but an effective professional will ask the difficult questions to help you narrow down your most important, can’t-live-without desires. Anything beyond those five values is gravy (or something you like if you’re not a fan of gravy).

Getting Ready

The first thing on your shopping list should be your top two core values. These are the highest priorities in your life and are one of the most important aspects of long-term relationship success.

Core values shape who you are, and without them, you wouldn’t be the same person. Human beings tend to change a lot over time—we are not the same person at age 10, 20, 50, or 70—but our core values generally stay consistent throughout our lifetime.

Refining Your List

The second part of your shopping list should include your key life values. These are the “wants” in your relationship recipe. A good professional will work with you to pick out 10-15 values you’d like in a partner and then whittle them down to your top 5, which will go on your shopping list.

Think of it this way: a lot of recipes call for parsley as a garnish, but do you need it for the recipe to taste good? Heck no! It’s nice to have and looks pretty, but you can still have a healthy, satisfying meal without parsley. What would your relationship parsley be? Maybe you’d like a guy who is 6’ or taller, but would he be just as good if he were 5’8”? Or maybe you’re a super fit guy who wants someone who can keep up with all your activities, so you’re looking for another hardbody. Is this a necessary ingredient or just parsley?

Perhaps there is a slightly curvier woman who also loves outdoor activities you share. Maybe that super-fit physique is just parsley if she possesses all the other important qualities you’re looking for. Possibly you want someone who shares hobbies like golfing, sailing, skiing, or motorcycle riding. Is this something you NEED to do with a partner? Can you do it with a good friend instead? Would you throw out a perfectly good meal because it’s missing parsley?

Staying Focused

A romantic relationship is one of the most important investments we will make in our lifetime. Consider hiring a professional to ask the important questions to help you build your unique recipe so that you can create a shopping list to guide your decisions when searching for that special someone.

Remember, a healthy relationship can enrich your life in many ways and contribute to more happiness and success, but a bad relationship can do the opposite. Take the time to know what your quality ingredients are and what is just parsley so you can find the happy, healthy partnership you’re craving.